And the winner isn't. . .

Me. I lost fifty borrowed dollars last night playing 1$/3$ open poker. And let me just say that even
though this means I can't buy food until wednesday, and now I owe my roomate 75 dollars, I'm taking it all extremely well. I didn't kill a hitchhiker or leave vulgar phone messages or anything. The worst part was after I lost my last dollar. I had to sit there waiting for my ride to lose all of his stash or get tired call it a night. Three painful, stoic hours later he drove me back to my car and I made the long, cold journey back home. And of course, my roomate was awake.

"How'd we do?"

"I lost everything-"

"Fuck you!"

"-and by 'lost everything' I mean 'I won forty dollars!'-"

"Haha, sweet!"

"-but by 'I won forty dollars' I actually meant that 'yes, I really lost
everything' "

"If I tell you to fuck off, are you going to say that you really meant that you won forty dollars?"

"No."

"Well, fuck off!"

But she was laughing at the end.

I found some rice in my attic this morning, so it won't be starvation that gets me this time. God bless you soy sauce, you are good on rice, and make other foods Jappier. But you can go to hell cheapest-soy-sauce-at-the-grocery-store. You taste like steak-ass.